yubsie | In case ANYONE thought I was sane

Inroduction the Insane Ravenclaw Fanon

Once upon a time, Nicky (

melroniel) was making the requirements for the JC House Cup Challenge Fic. She decided to include “students getting drunk”. So Lank created a bunch of throwaway characters based on his friends. Now, the next year, the same requirement was there, so he brought the characters back and added more. By the time the requirement was removed, the Sloshed Stus had already grown into Dumbledore’s secret army, always saving the school. Their history was expanded all the way back the Founders Era. Slowly, the Ravenclaw Fanon took on a life of its own. This story is one of the most recent addition.

The Modern Day Stus:

Thomas Greyhame, Ravenclaw: The Mad Druid. Lank himself.

Ian de Mayo, Gryffindor: The Gryffindor Werewolf

Devira Lazare, Slytherin:

ravenclaw_devi

Madalena Sommers, Ravenclaw: Laughing Lena. Famed for Defenestration.

non_horation

Ysanne Sommers, Ravenclaw: Madalena’s cousin. Known for the Face Very Very Hopeful Charm

Matthew Goldenclaw, Ravenclaw:

safari1389

Rosie Yubsie, Ravenclaw: Yubs. Speaks Ewokese. That, umm, would be me. :p

Katarina Guinastov, Ravenclaw:

guinastasia

Rachel Lunette, Hufflepuff:

jen_moonstar

Clare Icklevowski, Slytherin:

thecleric007

Miana Idon’tknowwhatlastnamewesettledon, Hufflepuff:

miana_dude

There are 18 fandoms in this fic. Hugs and cookies to anyone who can spot them all. Or... any. :p

Somebody Needs a HUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUG!

The potion sparkled a perfect blue in the flask. Neville stared in awe, not able to believe that it looked exactly how the instructions said it ought to.

Professor Snape swooped over. “Well, let’s see what you’ve created this time.”

“R-right here, Professor.”

Snape examined the vial, a completely foreign expression flashing across his face. “Well then... I see... umm... Excellent work, Mr. Longbottom.”

There was a bright flash followed by two loud thuds.

“Bloody hell! This place again!”

“Ending up here is really starting to get old.”

Neville turned to examine the source of the ruckus. “Rincewind. Hobbie. What are you doing here?”

“I’m not sure I even want to know.” Hobbie seemed as gloomy as ever. Neville noticed he was growing accustomed to the gaudy orange flightsuit.

Rincewind adjusted his distinctive WIZZARD hat. “It’s another bloody rift in reality. They just don’t make realities like they used to. One unusual occurrence and they start coming apart at the seams.”

“Unusual occurance?” Neville asked nervously.

“Story of my life. Unusual occurrences create rifts and then I fall t hrough them and try not to die before getting home. So, anything strange happen before we got here?”

“Well, Professor Snape... oh no!”

“What’s the matter?” Hobbie asked.

Neville sunk his chin into his hands. “Typical. I finally do something right in Potions and it creates a breech in the fabric of reality.

“Now, now, I’m sure you’re not the first person to do this.”

“You’re not helping.” Neville lay his head down on the desk. “I need a hug or something.”

“Eechoya! That can be arranged.”

Neville was almost crushed as countless people moved in to hug him. Wehn the group eased up, he was able to examine their faces. Standing closest to him were the familiar Sloshed Stus. Behind them, an exhibit of Hogwarts uniforms over the centuries. Neville gazed around at faces he had never seen outside of Dumbledore’s hidden portrait gallery. It seemed the rift in reality was worse than he thought, as every Sloshed Stu in the history of the school was present. With a pang, he realized that his parents must be out in that mass somewhere.

One of the Stus from the time of the Founders screamed, “A sword! She has a sword!”

Someone slowly forced their way to the front of the room.

“It’s as we feared,” Matthew Goldenclaw said.

Ian Mayo nodded. “It’s... NICKY!”

Nicky made her way tot he centre of the group and brandished her sword at the contemporary Stus. “This time you’ve gone too far. This is just ridiculous. How are htey all even fitting in this room?”

Madalena Somers laughed. “The fabric of reality is in pretty shoddy shape right now. It’s best to just not ask questions.”

“This is just silly.” Nicky raised her weapon, preparing to strike.

“Run!” Ysanne Somers yelled.

The Stus leapt into action, dodging among their illustrious predecessors. They eventually stumbled into the hallway, which seemed thus far immune to the distortion.

Devira Lazare pointed down the hall. “Who are they?”

There was a clustered of outlandishly dressed men and boys, accompanied by two girls in school uniforms.

The youngest, Shin, tugged at the sleeve of one of the adults. “Is this another AU, Goh?”

“I don’t think so, Shin. If it is, it’s not like any AU I’ve ever seen. We seem to more or less be ourselves.”

“Leafe Knights?” Clare Icklevowski gaped. “What are Leafe Knights doing here?”

Nine year old Mannen said, “Well, obviously this is no AU. They’re still calling us Leafe Knights.”

“You’re right, Mannen,” Hajime, the middle child, said. “We never get to be Leafe Knights in AUs.”

“Most of the time, we don’t even get to be present,” Mannen added.

Kei shook his head. “This is no AU. Look around you. This is a bloody crossover.”:

Miana snorted. “That much is obvious.”

“What I don’t understand,” Yubs said. “Is why they are here. I mean, Hobbie and Rincewind have come here before, so that connection already existed. Why the Leafe Knights?”

“It’s the AUs,” Kei explained. “They’ve rendered the fabric of our reality incredibly fragile. So when your reality weakened, they connected.

“Okay, this is just silly!” Nicky levelled her sword at Yubs. “You! This is your doing, isn’t it?”

The Stus and Leafe Knights edged away from Nicky. Little Shin burst into tears.

“Oh great, now he’s cryingyoulook like I’m doing?”

Kei glared. “And why would I want a hug?”

Yubs sighed. “I was hoping it wouldn’t come to this.” She rifled around in her plothole pocket for a picture. “This is what your anime incarnation looks like.”

“Oh... my... But at least I’m still dignified and intelligent!”

Madalena giggled nervously. “Yeah... about that... It’s not that you’re undignified or stupid but...”

“Basically, your anime incarnation has no personality,” Yubs finished.

Kei looked at them in horror, launching himself toward’s Clare’s arms. She spun neatly out of the way, allowing Kei to clasp himself around Nicky’s waist instead.

“She’s distracted, let’s move!” Ian shouted.

Nicky tried to follow after them as they fled to the library, but her movement was greatly hampered by having a grown man clutching to her.

“That should buy us some time,” Katerina said.

Devira lifted a book off the shelf. “We need to figure out what’s going on here.” She opened the book and was promptly knocked to the ground when a young blond fell out.

“Well, that was less than helpful,” Miana commented.

“Amiboshi!” Clare called, rushing over to hug him.

“I guess it’s true,” Amiboshi said. “Our whole world really is inside a book.”

Yubs nodded. “Normally it isn’t this book though.

“We really don’t do normal,” Matt pointed out. “And today is weird, even for us.”

“If the books have taken to sprouting angsty blonds, I don’t think we’ll be finding any answers here,” Madalena declared.

“We should figure out how far the disturbance reaches,” Thomas suggested.

Rachel nodded. “If it reached off the grounds, the world is in big trouble.

The Stus made their way outside, dodging a rain of Tribbles along the way. When they had nearly reached the door, Miana stopped the group.

“What is it?” Ginny asked.

“A puppy!”

“AWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWW, it’s so cute!” Ysanne squeed.

“It looks familiar,” Clare said. “Does it have a name?”

Ysanne bent down to pick up the dog. “It says her name is Menchi.”

“Menchi, eh? You just keep right on hugging that dog.”

They finally reached to outside grounds right in time to see five large shapes fall to the ground.

Devira yelled, “It’s a Gund—”

She wasn’t able to finish, because Thomas, Clare and Yubs all clapped hands over her mouth and tackled her to the ground.

“Don’t say that!” Clare scolded.

“Do you have some sort of death wish?” Yubs asked.

“Saying that would be like going up to Nicky and telling her you’re a Sloshed Stu!”

By this point, the five Gundams had already hit the ground, and their pilots had emerged with degrees of grace ranging from Trowa’s flip to Heero’s perfect one point landing on his head.

“So, I guess Hogwarts’ effect on Muggle technology extends upwards by quite a bit,” Ian mused.

Yubs and Clare strode over to Duo and Quatre respectively and clasped them in tight hugs.

“Thomas, can you go give Wufei a hug?”

“What makes you think I want a hug?”

Yubs sighed. “Getting a hug is not a sign of weakness.

Clare added, “It’s just your reward for putting up with mistreatment by the fandom.”

“I promise to make it a very manly hug,” Thomas assured.

“Very well,” Wufei said.

Thomas hugged him and, true to his word, gave a friendly slap on the back rather than any prolonged squeeze.

Clare glanced over at Heero. “What point in the series are you from?”

Heero looked down to the threatening position of her feet. “Late series! Late series, I swear!”

“You got lucky then.” She turned around and gave Hayate a good swift kick instead.

Hayate hopped backwards. “I deserved that.”

Yubs nodded. “You really did.:”

Trowa waved at the assembled crowd. “Hi. I’m not on either list, but I’m here anyway.”

Matt nodded. “Hello, Trowa.”

Miana pointed towards the lake. “What’s that over there?”

A young woman jumped over a series of sharks to land on the shore.

“Nadia,” Madalena said, walking over to give her a perfunctory hug.

“Aliaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaas!” the rest of the Stus cried.

“You’ve had your hug,” Ian said. “Now get out of here, and take those sharks with you! We have a book coming up soon, we can’t afford to take any chances.”

“This just keeps getting worse,” Rachel fretted.

As they headed back tot he school, they spotted an odd group of men. Only the youngest seemed to be of an age to be attending Hogwarts.

“They’re wolves,” Ian declared.

“Is this Paradise?” young Toboe asked.

“No, sorry,” Neville said.

“Aww.” The pup seemed crestfallen. “I need a hug.”

“Now that we can arrange,” Yubs said, suiting actions to words.

Clare approached Tsume.

“What the hell makes you think I need a hug?”

She raised an eyebrow at him.

“Oh, who am I kidding? That day sucked.” Tsume moved inot the much needed embrace.

“We must continue on to Paradise,” Kiba insisted.

“Can we at least stop by the kitchen along the way?” Hige pleaded.

“Oh fine.” The wolves loped off in search of sustenance for their quest.

“This is getting insane,” Ginny complained.

“I think it’s exciting,” Luna said. “The different worlds coming together in glorious madness!”

“Elsa?” Clare asked. “Why are you here?”

“Nicky hired me.”

“Hey, I’ve got an idea!” Yubs said. “How about instead of you killing us, we give you a hug and let you leave?”

Elsa flung herself at the waiting arms. “Okay.”

When the girl was safely on her way back to Italy, Clare commented, “Never hire an emotionally damaged child as an assassin.”

On their way in to the school, they encountered a character dressed in green. Thomas quickly hugged him. “It’s alright, Link. Maybe Zelda will kiss you in the next game.”

The Stus next encountered another angsty blond wandering through the halls. “Neo Masters?”

Clare shook her head and hugged him. “Sorry, Frey.”

“Try Japan,” Yubs suggested cherrily.

“Thank you. How do you know that?”

Yubs and Clare laughed. “We just know these things.”

Madalena mumbled something about brains, prompting a glare from Clare.

“You bloody Stus!” Nicky burst onto the scene, doing her best to run despite the fact that Kei was still firmly grasping her waist. “I’ll get you!”

The group took refuge in the nearest classroom, locking the door before she could follow them.

“Where are we?” Devira asked.

“Muggle Studies,” Ysanne replied.

“Hey, look, a picture of a television,” Matt commented.

It seemed it was no longer possible for them to go anywhere without the madness growing worse. No sooner had Matt finished his observation than a boy of about first year age and a giant caterpillar fell out of the painting.

“Ken!” Clare cried, embracing the boy.

Yubs shook her head. “Your angstbunnies are everywhere today.” With that, she picked up the bizarre creature. “Poor little Wormmon. Your hugs just didn’t come soon enough.”

“We have to do something about this,” Katerina insisted.

“We have to keep moving then,” Rachel declared.

“But how? Nicky is still out there,” Miana fretted.

Ginny tapped a stone on the wall with her wand. “If there’s one thing my brothers taught me, it’s how to get around this school undetected.”

The group crept single file through the hidden passageway. As secret passages went, it was rather boring. I twas clean, well lit and dry. Nothing dripped ominously or seemed unnaturally cold. All and all, it was a very cherry way to sneak around.

When they emerged in a corridor by Ravenclaw Tower, they encountered a group of six small figures.

“Hogwarts again,” Frodo sighed.

“Where’s Harry?” Sam asked.

“And why isn’t Legolas with us?” Pippin wondered.

“Has the random illogical love interest managed to get him already?” Merry fretted.

“And why am I here?” Gimli demanded. “I never get to come along on crossovers. Hell, I barely manage to be in fics set in our own universe!”

“It doesn’t stop you from falling through the connection all those crossovers have created,” Miana explained.

“You’re here for hugs,” Yubs said simply.

Miana started, “Don’t the Hobbits—”

“Shush!” Clare interrupted. “They could never get enough.”

The Hobbits were then swarmed by Stus. Even Gimli received a hug from Yubs.

“Well, I, uh...”

Madalena laughed.

“You too, Smeagle,” Clare insisted.

“No one’s ever hugged Smeagle before.”

“Well, just think what a difference it could have made.”

“Can I have a hug?” a suit of armor asked.

Devira shrugged. “Sure, why not.”

Yubs grinned. “Hug for Al!”

A little girl crept out from behind Al. “What about me.”

Clare picked up the child. “Poor little Nina, of course you can have a hug!”

Marietta Edgecombe came down the stairs. Clare cut her off to give her a hug, and then left her to discuss integrity with Wufei.

They made their way towards the Great Hall, discovering along the way that Remus Lupin was mysteriously back at the school. The Stus decided that at this point they shouldn’t ask questions and just let Clare hug him.

An oddly dressed boy approached them. “I’m Suguru, just don’t even ask why I’m here. I need to collect my hug and then get back to my own fandom.”

Yubs nodded and obliged him.

“Thank you. Shuichi is being rather difficult about the new song, so I need to get back there now.”

He left, allowing another man to enter. “I’m Amos Hart, but you aren’t expected to remember that. I was told to come her for a hug, but I don’t want to take up too much of your time.”

Rachel hugged him gently.

“Thank you. My exit music!”

The Expulsion of Harry Potter began to play in the background. Amos danced off, singing about actually getting exit music.

Katerina sighed. “Tell me this is almost over.”

As if to answer her question, an Ewok wandered over and began talking to Yubs.

“He says ‘They call me Corpsey!’” Yubs explained.

The poor doomed Ewok was promptly hugged by all present. He handed a piece of paper to Yubs, which she squeezed tight.

“What’s that,” Ian asked.

“The Ewok Celebration song,” Yubs replied.

Nicky stormed in, still dragging Kei with her. “Okay, now this is really ridiculous! You’re hugging SHEET MUSIC!”

Kei suddenly looked up. “Hey! This isn’t at all dignified! What did you people DO to me!” He began to converse rapidly with Nicky, seemingly plotting to kill the Stus together.

“Eep!” Yubs said. “Stella, do something!”

Clare hugged Sasame, seemingly at random. “No calling him that!”

Kei raised a hand, preparing to use his powers to blind the Stus to give Nicky her chance to strike.

Unfortunately, it was not to be. A mysterious shape of swirling stars with arms floated into the room. “I am the Great Will of the Macrocosm. This has gotten absolutely ridiculous. You can’t have eighteen fandoms all in one story, it just doesn’t work. Now I have to reset the universe back to before you got your insane hands on it!”

The dog in Ysanne’s arms whimpered.

“Yes, Menchi, that means going back to Excel.”

“But our revenge!” Kei and Nicky chorused.

“BACK TO NORMAL!”

In a flash, all characters returned to their proper fandoms and eras. Neville found himself once again sitting in Potions.

“So, why weren’t we in this fic?” Ron asked.

“Aren’t we supposed to be the main characters or something?” Harry complained.

Hermione shook her head. “Honestly, did you really want to be in this?